Bureauscopes: February 2013

Back by popular demand is the second edition of bureauscopes for February:

Aries

Mercury moves forward in your creative zone after being out of phase for the past month, so it's an ideal time for you to tackle those jobs jobs that require a bit of 'out-of-the-box' thinking: filling in your time sheets, getting past the blocks on websites like facebook and twitter, and explaining to your manager about that unfortunate gazetting mix up. It could have happened to anyone.

Taurus

A major cosmic shift this month signals the beginning of a long, challenging project, so be prepared for a tumultuous start to the new elite AFL fantasy competition. The key question to ask yourself isn't what policy needs reviewing, but who is training the house down over the preseason?

Gemini

While it's been a fun ride, Venus finally departs and settles into your too-many-long-lunches zone, where she is sure to bring your attention to all those feasts you've been enjoying - and if she doesn't, your better half sure will. Try to avoid horizontal stripes until the pace of work picks up again after the Christmas lull (round April) and forces a cutback in midday leisure time.

Cancer

Bask in the glow that is Jupiter spending the next month in your sign. Reports completed: tick. Boss away on a conference: tick. Underlings suitably distracted with customer service enquiries: Boom tick! Just be wary of becoming complacent in the midst of all this good fortune, and make sure you don't post status updates on Facebook during working hours.

Leo

Commonsense guru Mercury moves into focus this month. In the wake of the 'hysterical resident incident' that you so brilliantly side-stepped, know that silence is the best and only option - although there's nothing wrong with slipping their address on the list for the location of the speed trailer for a week or two. Parking it in school zones was getting predictable anyway.

Virgo

Make hay while the sun shines and book another couple of days leave while the boss is away and you can fool the acting manager into signing off on it. Use the money that you saved from not chipping in to that leaving present for a couple of tasty and longish lunches.

Libra

With Mercury, the planet of communication, driving you this month, it's time to punch out as many bland and lifeless media releases as you can. Set yourself a challenge and see if you can crack triple figures on the word count before using the words 'enhance' or 'community' (obviously quotes from the Mayor are exempt).

Scorpio

It's been a while since the long lunch-sick day-late start triple combo, and this is the month to rectify it! With Mars finally switching gear, it's the perfect time to relax and treat yourself to the odd extended 'site visit' or two.

Sagittarius

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why you have yet to achieve your full potential in the Fantasy Football league, that word would be 'meetings'. Plan ahead and schedule as many as you can for 31st April to prevent your ranking from serious slippage.

Capricorn

When faced with redefining the success of a failed project, never, ever forget that procedure is everything.

Aquarius

Awkward misunderstandings from the Christmas Party and a silly tiff arising from an inopportune office prank are cleared up without too much fuss mid-month with the direct movement of Saturn into your relationship zone. With the work experience student due to start, don't be shy about getting him to take the lead on attending to customer service enquiries.

Pisces

I still don't know any bureaucrats who are Pisces. They're all enablers.