Some cool quotes about cities III

Welcome to the third edition of some cool quotes about cities.

First up is Lorne Daniel:

"Diversity makes a neighbourhood both functional and interesting for people on foot. Density drives that diversity because population density ensures there is a market for diverse retail, social, educational and other options...Our neighbourhood features a number of small boutique shops – one just carrying designer rain wear (we do live on the edge of a rainforest) – serving a niche market. The city needs enough population density to support those niche retailers. Of course, the more such unique stores can thrive, the more they in turn create the ambience that people want. The street becomes diverse and interesting – a destination – for more and more people."

Lorne's quote is from an article in which he chews the fat about what a walkable city really is. The article makes for a great read - pour yourself a nice cooling homemade iced tea and enjoy. I did.

Next up is Marcus Westbury:

"The most basic point at which cities, towns, communities and streets that are failing is often that they fail to fail enough. They become immune to experimentation and innovation and instead get stuck in a binary distinction between 'the big solution' and 'the status quo.'"

I don my cap to Marcus after that ripper of a quote. I took this quote from a blog post in which Marcus outlines his ideas about iterative urbanism. It is well worth reading.

Last but not least is a passage from 'Notes from a Small Island' by Bill Bryson:

"Calais is an interesting place that exists solely for the purpose of giving English people in shell suits somewhere to go for the day. Because it was heavily bombed in the war, it fell into the hands of post-war planners and in consequence looks like something left over from a 1957 Exposition du Cement. An alarming number of structures in the centre, particularly around the cheerless Place d'Armes, seem to have been modelled on supermarket packaging, primarily packets of Jacob's Cream Crackers. A few structures are even built across roads - always a sign of 1950s planners smitten with the novel possibilities of concrete."

I'm working on a theory that Bryson is one of our great philosophers on the subject of citites. I always enjoy reading about his insights into the urban world. In this quote Bryson describes an era of development that should be studied so as to ensure that we don't go down a similar path again. Let's start issuing his books to architects, town planners, urban designers and developers post haste!

That's it for this edition of some cool quotes about cities.

I've added Marcus' blog and Lorne's website "Rethink Urban" to my list of links as well. They're both valuable resources for the town planning and placemaking nerd.

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Click here for the first edition and here for the second edition to check out some more cool quotes about cities.

Bureauscopes: February 2013

Back by popular demand is the second edition of bureauscopes for February:

Aries

Mercury moves forward in your creative zone after being out of phase for the past month, so it's an ideal time for you to tackle those jobs jobs that require a bit of 'out-of-the-box' thinking: filling in your time sheets, getting past the blocks on websites like facebook and twitter, and explaining to your manager about that unfortunate gazetting mix up. It could have happened to anyone.

Taurus

A major cosmic shift this month signals the beginning of a long, challenging project, so be prepared for a tumultuous start to the new elite AFL fantasy competition. The key question to ask yourself isn't what policy needs reviewing, but who is training the house down over the preseason?

Gemini

While it's been a fun ride, Venus finally departs and settles into your too-many-long-lunches zone, where she is sure to bring your attention to all those feasts you've been enjoying - and if she doesn't, your better half sure will. Try to avoid horizontal stripes until the pace of work picks up again after the Christmas lull (round April) and forces a cutback in midday leisure time.

Cancer

Bask in the glow that is Jupiter spending the next month in your sign. Reports completed: tick. Boss away on a conference: tick. Underlings suitably distracted with customer service enquiries: Boom tick! Just be wary of becoming complacent in the midst of all this good fortune, and make sure you don't post status updates on Facebook during working hours.

Leo

Commonsense guru Mercury moves into focus this month. In the wake of the 'hysterical resident incident' that you so brilliantly side-stepped, know that silence is the best and only option - although there's nothing wrong with slipping their address on the list for the location of the speed trailer for a week or two. Parking it in school zones was getting predictable anyway.

Virgo

Make hay while the sun shines and book another couple of days leave while the boss is away and you can fool the acting manager into signing off on it. Use the money that you saved from not chipping in to that leaving present for a couple of tasty and longish lunches.

Libra

With Mercury, the planet of communication, driving you this month, it's time to punch out as many bland and lifeless media releases as you can. Set yourself a challenge and see if you can crack triple figures on the word count before using the words 'enhance' or 'community' (obviously quotes from the Mayor are exempt).

Scorpio

It's been a while since the long lunch-sick day-late start triple combo, and this is the month to rectify it! With Mars finally switching gear, it's the perfect time to relax and treat yourself to the odd extended 'site visit' or two.

Sagittarius

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why you have yet to achieve your full potential in the Fantasy Football league, that word would be 'meetings'. Plan ahead and schedule as many as you can for 31st April to prevent your ranking from serious slippage.

Capricorn

When faced with redefining the success of a failed project, never, ever forget that procedure is everything.

Aquarius

Awkward misunderstandings from the Christmas Party and a silly tiff arising from an inopportune office prank are cleared up without too much fuss mid-month with the direct movement of Saturn into your relationship zone. With the work experience student due to start, don't be shy about getting him to take the lead on attending to customer service enquiries.

Pisces

I still don't know any bureaucrats who are Pisces. They're all enablers.

Much to do about nothing: A survey about amalgamation

Firstly, a little bit of fun because I couldn't help it and I begged and begged my wife to let me. (I hope Freo Doctor Blog readers know that as a result of my begging I've been forced to begin an exercise program that involves me jogging down to South Beach with my wife cycling by my side. The sacrifices I go through. She said she'd dangle a piece of prosciutto in front of me, so it's not all bad though.)

So how did Fremantle Council end up deciding to survey us all about amalgamation recently?

a) Back in mid-November, Councillor Wilson anticipated that I would suffer a debilitating bout of cruiselag after returning to Freo at the end of my cruise. He thought that he'd do his bit and provide this mild mannered blogger with something to get scribbling about. (There's a seriously awesome power salute coming your way, Councillor Wilson.)

b) In November, and after watching Field of Dreams, Councillor Wilson went to bed and had a strange dream - the Premier beckoning him with calls of "survey them, survey them, I'm really interested to see what they think about amalgamation; there's a state election coming up and if I win I'll claim a mandate, plus it's not Council's decision to make, but what the hey, go ahead and survey them anyway. I could do with a laugh." Councillor Wilson immediately woke up and dotted down the wording for the resolution, ignoring a lingering question as to why he'd been dreaming about Colin Barnett.

c) Councillor Wilson read my awesome blog post about amalgamation earlier this year (click here) and secretly resolved then and there that come December he'd do his darndest to provide a stellar example of why amalgamation really should go ahead. (Sorry, Councillor Wilson, but the City's continued inaction on the Bathers Beach dustbowl, following complaints from local businesses and residents, beats you to the punch.)

d) Thwaites and Wilberforce are back?

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Now for the serious stuff:

The sense of community argument

The misconception: Without smaller local governments people's sense of community will wither and die.

The reality: It won't. A sense of community relies on the people, not a bureaucratic organisation. 

I used to passionately believe in retaining the small sizes of our local government areas in Perth. I suppose I had fallen for the whole 'small is better' argument. I also bought too much into the notion that a bureaucratic organisation, such as a local government authority, can play in creating and fostering community. Then we moved to Fremantle, where smaller is definitely not better and the people create the community.

If Perth, like Brisbane, was made up of only one local government, would Fremantle's history disappear? No. Would Freoites no longer get that awesome feeling of coming home when the port's cranes become visible? Nope. Would all of Freo's many and varied community groups stop meeting and gathering? Can't see it happening. Is there no sense of community in Brisbane? I wouldn't bet on it. So what makes local government around Perth, and in particular Fremantle, so much better than their counterparts in Brisbane, or Paris, or New York?

The Hulbert Street Sustainability Fiesta has emerged as a classic example of Freo's awesome sense of community in recent years. It is successfully run and managed. It continues to grow. Was it the brainchild of a bureaucrat or a resident? A resident. Has it been run by a bureaucracy or by locals? Locals of course.

Nope, smallish local governments don't have a mortgage over community building.

The smaller is better argument

The misconception: Smaller local governments are best positioned to deliver on people's more demanding expectations.

The truth: Show me the money! It is simply not going to happen with under resourced and top heavy small local governments.

Historically speaking local governments have specialised in operations. 'Rates, roads and rubbish' is the old catch cry that some people use to describe the traditional function of a local government. It served small local governments really well for a really long time.

Things have changed though. Expectations have shifted, quickly and dramatically. In 2012, local government is way more than just the three R's and I'm not entirely convinced that smaller local govies can meet expectations.

Take bike infrastructure: Granted the City has made a significant investment in cycling infrastructure over the past couple of years, but it's a drop in the ocean. People's expectations about living in a bike-friendly city are exponentially increasing. I read of well funded and resourced cities in the United States and Europe who have delivered oodles and oodles of bike lanes over the past four years.

And that gets me onto public transport investment: Imagine you're the Premier in 2013 and you've decided to invest in a massive public transport programme for Perth. Now put your hand up if you want to deal with thirty two - that's right, thirty two - local government authorities complete with all those hundreds of Councillors? Not me.

Nope, I'm not buying this argument either. Me, I want to live in a city where my local government is well funded and resourced. It isn't top heavy. It has the capacity to carry out its operational aspects (the three R's), implement its own projects without relying on consultants, and deliver quality infrastructure.

Conclusion

Without smaller local governments people's sense of community will not wither and die. A sense of community relies on the people, not a bureaucratic organisation. People's expectations of their local government authority are changing. These expectations will only become more difficult to satisfy if local authorities are under resourced and top heavy.

Bureauscopes: Horoscopes for bureaucrats

The other day while sitting in a cold bath and playing on my iPad (not a euphemism), I came across an image from a magazine from India called ‘Bureaucracy Today’ via twitter. The image was of a monthly horoscope, tailored to bureaucrats, and at that moment I realised what had been missing in my professional life up till now.

All the horoscope needed to be perfect was the introduction of a slightly Australian flavour, as the working life of bureaucrats in India seems to be comparatively short on such Aussie office essentials as the long lunch, the sickie, and organising your AFL Dream Team.

So if you're fortunate enough to be in the business of bureaucracy, here's a taste of what you can expect from the month ahead.

Aries:

With Jupiter rising in the first fortnight of January, you may find your will being tested. In the face of adversity, it is important to keep a cool head. Practice some yoga breathing and take the phone off the hook for an hour or two. Generously offer to buy the IT guys lunch so that the network mysteriously goes on the blink for a few days. Tell your manager you're off to archives for a file and instead use the day and a half to sneak out the back door and take advantage of the summer movie scene. Above all, be good to yourself. You deserve it.

Taurus:

The first month of the year should be a case of making hay while the sun shines. January is a great time for Taureans to tackle organisational challenges head-on. Organise a series of office cricket matches, set up your office pranks schedule, update your Excuses and Stalls folder and, most importantly, get a head start on your AFL Dream Team preparations.

Gemini:

Pizza or sub? Decisions, decisions, decisions. You will have to think hard about where you spend your long lunches this month. Don’t be a paragon of self-control though, as January will be the month for acting on impulse. You will do well to follow your heart (and your gut). Why not see where it leads?

Cancer:

Planets indicate an excellent month for you is on the cards for January. A financial windfall can be expected in the form of some higher duties pay after your boss tries to get three reports up for a single meeting. Young bureaucrats being tempted by such concepts as innovation will need to be under supervision towards the end of the month.

Leo:

Pave the way for a week of sick leave at month's end to avoid a confrontation with a hysterical resident whose view from the bathroom windowis about to be impeded by a neighbour's renovations. Book an appointment with the WALGA counsellor in your junior's name for next month. He's going to need it.

Virgo:

Jupiter is rising in your sign around the 15th, which means you should postpone asking for that extra week of leave till later in the month. Avoid chipping in to any leaving presents if the person is entering private enterprise - they'll be back in six weeks.

Libra:

Mars and Venus will align in the first week of the month, suggesting amalgamation is on the cards. But do a survey anyway. Ignore critics who say it's a pointless political gesture and a waste of money so close to the state election. Everybody loves a survey.

Scorpio:

You are at the peak of your bureaucratic powers. Your foresight in arranging for 98 per cent of the City’s projects to go through community consultation during this month while ratepayers are on holiday could mean you should expect a promotion in the near future. To really be ahead of the pack, draft the Council reports for these projects before consultation ends to expedite the process.

Sagittarius:

Meetings are a practical alternative to work. Remember this and the month of January will sail smoothly by.

Capricorn:

Stick doggedly to your guns in the face of a failing project. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success. And then redefine it again. Why stop there? Come on... redefine it again.

Aquarius:

Planets indicate a difficult month ahead for you. Pesky politicians having the temerity to request work from you; sexual harassment allegations arise from your Christmas Party antics; and, worst of all, a new work experience student means one thing: maintain a low profile.

Pisces:

I don't know any bureaucrats who are Pisces. They're all enablers.

Evaluating Notre Dame's place in Freo (Part II)

My last post looked at the great Freo town-gown trade-off. In today's concluding post, I''ll shoot the breeze about what we can expect from Notre Dame and how the recently adopted MOU stacks up.

PART II

What can we expect from Notre Dame?

I'll come clean. I feel there's a tad too much emphasis on the City attempting to elicit a financial commitment from Notre Dame in the Memorandum of Understanding.

Yep, I've flipped my thinking on this one. I just don't think that it is the City's place to attempt to force Notre Dame into this kind of financial arrangement. Firstly, the City does not have the power to compel Notre Dame to do so. Secondly, I can imagine that it would be difficult for the City to have any credibility with Notre Dame if it isn't doing the same thing with other large not-for-profit organisations in Fremantle.

Rather than focusing on a dollars and cents contribution, I now believe that the opportunity presented by the Memorandum of Understanding is to focus on:

- mitigating what we're trading;

- maximising what we're gaining; and

- identifying what we should be gaining but not currently receiving.

Setting aside the diminished rates base for reasons I've already mentioned, it seems logical that the Memorandum of Understanding focuses on activating the West End, and how Notre Dame can help with managing the demand for parking. It also feels reasonable that the City and Notre Dame agree on maximising the benefits of economic development and heritage restoration.

Finally, something that I feel Freo should be gaining, but that Notre Dame isn't providing as well as it could be, is community development.

How does the MOU stack up?

Armed with a tasty mug of freshly brewed Yorkshire Gold tea, I decided to tackle the City's website in an attempt to download the MOU. After my fifteenth mug, I eventually discovered that only the old MOU could be downloaded. Not to be outdone and because I was over-stimulated, I made like the spy in Len Deighton's 'The Ipcress File' and deduced that, as Council had made the decision to adopt the new MOU, the document would have been included as an attachment as part of a Council Agenda. So after another series of clicks, I excitedly found the new MOU document.

(Maybe somebody at the City could update the website so that finding and downloading the new MOU doesn't require experience working for MI6? In the meantime, I won't link to the City's website.)

Now back to the MOU.

I finished reading the document and immediately concluded that 'encourage' must have been trendy at the time of its drafting.

My second reading left me thinking that this MOU is all about getting Notre Dame to figure out that street activation is a good thing. Great in theory... but I will be awarding a big cup of hot fat to both parties for agreeing to the two year timeframe for starting a street activation strategy.

A positive aspect of the document is that Notre Dame will look at expanding its academic activities to locations throughout the city centre. This'll free up space in the West End, which will allow for its activation, and reinforces the importance of the Stan Reilly site.

If you're looking for money don't expect too much. Notre Dame has agreed that it will contribute up to $75,000 per calendar year. Remembering that they don't have to pay anything, and that they will be expected to continue their heritage restoration and building upgrade programmes, I'm cool with this aspect of the MOU.

Economic development gets a guernsey. Freo businesses are expected to be Notre Dame's first port of call. It'll be interesting to see if this does in fact happen.

Two aspects that could have been given more attention are Notre Dame's community development, and its role in providing movement options for its students and employees. This neglect probably also deserves a cup of hot fat as well.

Another detail that is missing is any word on how the MOU will be implemented. Who will be responsible on the City's end, and who will be the point of contact at Notre Dame? How will groups like FICRA, the West End Traders Association and the Fremantle BID be involved?

Not withstanding the questionable implementation plan, I'm surprised to report that all in all the MOU gets a pass mark from me. ("I'm sure they'll be breathing huge sighs of relief in the Chancellor's office." - my wife.) Now it is down to implementation.

Now for some ideas

1. State Government subsidy to City of Freo for being so awesome?

Notre Dame, Fremantle Port, Fremantle Hospital are all subsidised by us taxpayers. They also all provide benefits to the wider Perth metropolitan region, let alone Freo. So why is it left to Fremantle ratepayers to bare a cost through losses in rates revenue?

I'd like to see the City of Fremantle, along with all of Fremantle's representatives in state parliament, advocating for the State Government to award the City a one off yearly subsidy. It happened in Connecticut - why can't it happen here?

2. Get cracking on the street activation strategy

This is a no brainer. There is no reason why the community must wait two years for work on preparing this document to begin.

3. Community development

I really like how the University of Western Australia provides its Extension Courses to the public. I'd like to see Notre Dame do something similar with a distinct Freo focus.

4. Heritage interpretation

Notre Dame does heritage restoration really well, but does it interpret the buildings well enough? I feel that there is room for improvement.

5. Courtyards open on weekends?

Notre Dame's courtyards are kick ass. Why can't they be open on weekends for the public to enjoy?

6. Reduce parking demand

What is Notre Dame doing to reduce the demand for parking by its employees and students? Does it offer public transport incentives to employees and students? Are enough bicycle racks being provided? Is it participating in any TravelSmart initiatives?

That's about it for Notre Dame.

I'm chuffed that Freo is a university town. I believe that there are a lot of benefits, which in many cases outweigh the costs. I think the MOU has the right focus - getting street activation, and I'm looking forward to seeing it implemented.

And for all those who made it to the end...

Last week I almost vomited on a group of toddlers during a Kiddieland ride at the Royal Show. After a long break and a bratwurst I regained my composure, but my nephew still refused to sit next to me on any rides more lively than the chair lift.

Evaluating Notre Dame's place in Freo (Part I)

My wife/editor told me that my next two posts were so dry (actually, she used a more colourful phrase that I won't repeat here), that I should share a piece of embarrassing personal information at the end as a kind of reward to anyone who finishes it still conscious. So if you make it to the end, there's a treat waiting. (No cheating.)
PART I

A couple of months ago now, Council adopted a new Memorandum of Understanding with Notre Dame University. Now that the dust has settled, I thought I'd evaluate the document, and Notre Dame's place in Freo.

Freo is not unique in having a university or college in its city centre, and that brings with it a set of inherent benefits and costs. The trick, of course, is to maximise the benefits and to mitigate, as best as possible, the costs.

I believe it's important to keep in mind that some of the most pleasant and liveable towns around the world are those with a university in their limits. Making the partnership work is clearly not impossible, or even all that difficult.

What is Freo currently gaining from Notre Dame?

1. Economic development

Notre Dame contributes significantly to Freo's economy. It is one Freo's largest employers and most consistent and biggest attractors. All those employees and students provide a solid base for sustaining local businesses in Freo's city centre. And if there was more affordable accomodation for students available in the city centre, the benefits would probably increase even more.

It would be great if somebody had managed to quantify the contribution that Notre Dame makes to Freo's local economy, but to date there are no figures available.

2. Parking revenue (either from paid parking or parking fines)

Again, there are no exact figures, but I'd imagine that during semester all those students also help to fill the City's coffers.

3. Heritage restoration plus tourism

Walking around the West End wouldn't be quite so enjoyable without the awesome heritage buildings, many of which have been restored by Notre Dame. These beautifully restored buildings represent a long-term benefit to all of Freo and attract tourists to the West End in droves.

During my research, I wondered out loud if private developers would have delivered the same outcome? I turned around to hear the sounds of my wife choking on her tofu. She clearly didn't think so and neither do I.

Now that I've covered what we're gaining, its time to think about what we're trading by having Notre Dame?

What is Freo currently trading by having Notre Dame?

1. Less revenue from rates

As a not-for-profit organisation, it is enshrined in legislation that Notre Dame, like other universities, does not pay rates. This also applies to the land occupied by Fremantle Port, Fremantle Hospital, St Patrick's Primary School, CBC Fremantle and other not-for-profit organisations littered around Freo's city centre.

It dawned on me that Freo's traditional role as Perth's second city has meant that it has naturally hosted important institutions. Notre Dame's presence in the West End reinforces Freo's second city tradition, but it also exacerbates the problem of sacrificing rateable land.

The problem is that local ratepayers (I'll get to taxpayers in my next post) are effectively subsidising, in part, the presence of these organisations.

2. The West End

The West End is becoming dominated by a single use. The issues of inactive ground floor frontages and the closure of many of the West End pubs have been well documented. Suffice to say the lack of diversity, especially in night time activities, subtracts from the precinct's vibrancy.

A lesson that can be learnt from this experiment is that in such a small area as the West End, the implications of allowing one single dominant land use can be severe. This lesson is something to keep in mind when it comes to thinking about the much ballyhooed Arthurs Head Art Precinct.

3. Parking bays

Local retailers will feel a tad aggrieved that students (and maybe Notre Dame employees) tend to take up a lot of parking bays. Having said that, most parking in the West End is managed so that people do not get to hog a bay for 3, 4, or 5 plus hours without paying for that option.

Summary

The interesting thing about Freo's town-gown trade-off is that you can't get the benefits of economic development that Notre Dame brings without acknowledging that there will be less revenue from rates. For me, the key relates to extracting maximum value. Ensuring that the benefits outweigh the costs.

I think I'll leave it at this point and give Freo Doctor Blog readers a breather. I'll be back tomorrow with a post that focuses on what we can expect from Notre Dame and my assessment of how the MOU stacks up.

Shut up and Stop whining: A guide to being a better ratepayer

My wife has a curious fondness for trashy celebrity gossip magazines of the ilk of NW, whose journalistic calibre was exemplified in 2001 when it famously published a comprehensive article of a celebrity event, including quotes and photos, despite it having been cancelled at the last minute.

Why she reads these magazines is beyond me, because she seems to find every person within the pages exceptionally irritating. I know this because as she reads them she mutters to herself, along the lines of, "Oh Rachel McAdams, who told you you could pull off green satin?" and "Put it away, Tom. No one wants to see your annoying Scientologist face."

The thing that is most guaranteed to provoke a scornful laugh is a rich, entitled celebrity complaining about how difficult their life is now they're famous. Whether it's Kristen Stewart or Johnny Depp comparing being photographed to getting raped, or George Clooney moaning about how he might be forced to sell his huge castle in Lake Como because of a lack of privacy, nothing raises my wife's ire more.

"Here's a plan, Kristen/Johnny/George." She'll say. "If getting paid millions of dollars for doing hardly any work is that bad, let someone else have a go and become a nurse or a teacher instead. Problem solved."

A similar, muttered commentary, punctuated with the occasional snort, could be heard as she was skimming through last week's exceptionally whiny Thinking Allowed piece by Fremantle councillor Rachel Pemberton in the Herald.

"I love it when someone has a good whinge about how bad it is that everyone is always whinging, and they're not being ironic," was her neat summation upon finishing the article.
I told her the whole piece left me feeling a bit let down. It's not the first time a politician has levelled the blame at their public for the shortcomings of government, but it doesn't make it any nicer to read.

"You know what it sounds like, Swanman? A job for...Captain Translator!" She cried. At that instant, in a parallel dimension not far from our own, a handsome, mild-mannered blogger pricked up his ears. A second later he bounded up off the couch and ripped open his t-shirt, revealing a shiny red leotard and tights, washboard abs, and a cape that blew heroically in the wind.

"Wherever there is spin, I will be there! Whenever someone tries to shift the blame onto others, I will make it right! I am... CAPTAIN TRANSLATOR!"

(For the sake of brevity, the Captain didn't reproduce the original Thinking Allowed column in its entirety. If you haven't read the whole thing, you should. Click here to go to the Herald's electronic version and go to page 5 to read the actual piece. Only the bits below in italics are actual quotes; everything else is just the Captain's interpretation.)

1. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

Captain Translator: I'm heartily sick of putting up with idiot ratepayers who revolt like Russian peasants whenever Council "suggests" (ok, "approves") buildings over three storeys. (Actually we approved up to eleven, but rounding down, more like three.) And we did it soley for the community's own good, but of course they're too dumb to appreciate it. You can't get vibrancy without infill, morons!

If only ratepayers would just trust that I and everyone else on Council know much, much better than them about practically everything, it would make my life a lot easier.

2. A culture of negativity and whinging about the government.

Captain Translator: Tons of people think they are disillusioned with the government, but they're not really - they're just a bunch of dumbos who swallow whatever opinions the media and the blogosphere feed them without any kind of critical analysis. It's an epidemic, only the disease is being a whiny, annoying idiot.

Luckily I'm here to set everyone straight. If you feel disenfranchised, or find yourself being critical of something your government has done, it's just because you're too lazy to get involved in a more positive way.

Whaddya mean, I might be biased? Yeah, I work for a senator, and yeah I'm also a local councillor. I don't get your point.

Here's my advice: Instead of complaining about stuff, go and knit a colourful stocking for a street tree. No one wants to hear your opinions. Be part of the solution, whingers!

3. Talking Fremantle Down.

Captain Translator: (What do you mean, writing an article with the headline "Is Freo the new Dullsville?" is a tad hypocritical in the circumstances? Didn't you see the question mark at the end? Geez.)

I thought I'd show how bad it is to talk Freo down by talking, at great length, about all the ways in which people talk it down. You might not even have heard some of the things people have said about Freo, so I've helpfully listed all the ones I could remember for easy reference.

I'll start with locals saying that Freo is a disgrace.

Before you tell me that you're a local and have never told anyone that Freo's a disgrace, pay attention. You can be guilty of this in lots of different, subtle ways. The most obvious one is being mean about Council.

I bring this up not because I'm on Council and I take all criticism very, very personally, but because no one wants to visit a place where locals aren't constantly saying how great their Council is. It's the number one reason that influences people when they're deciding where to go shopping or eat out on the weekend.

And don't fool yourself that you're actually doing a good thing in discussing your concerns about local issues to raise awareness and to prompt your elected officials to take action. I mean, who's ever heard of that working? Politicians are never influenced by anything as sordid as public opinion.

3(a) I have struggled to deal with the somewhat unfounded public denigration of this council, which is actually achieving some significant results.

Captain Translator: When I got elected, I expected a constant stream of congratulations just for doing the job that I freely volunteered for. Yes, there's evidence all around me that being a politician by definition means working in an adversarial environment and copping a fair amount of robust criticism, but I naturally assumed I would be an exception.

I'm a Gen Y, you know? It's how we roll.

But instead of accolades, I just get people giving me opinions that are different to my own and sometimes even outright criticism, or, as I like to call them, "swipes".

Council works hard, and has great intentions. That should be more than enough for any reasonable person. Sure, actual results might be thin on the ground, but if you managed your expectations better you'd be a lot more satisfied.

I mean, just look how Council transformed Bathers Beach. There's the boardwalk, the gazebo, and lots of other stuff that admittedly isn't 100% as aweseome, but seeing as we refuse to make any changes, you may as well learn to like it. There's even a moveable seat on railway tracks! Yeah, it broke after only a few days and we still haven't fixed it months later, but cut a person some slack! Look at all the people on the boardwalk!

And, of course, the new shower. I knew you'd bring that up. Yes, it had to be relocated immediately after being installed at needless expense, but it's local government, guys. These things happen. Like I said, manage those expectations.

3(b). Parking is not killing this town, attitudes are.
3(c). A city is only as interesting as its people (...).

Captain Translator: Parking is not the reason more people don't come to Freo, it's the locals being such whiny, boring, pains-in-the-backside who bitch and moan almost constantly.

A guy from another country came here for one afternoon and he told me Freo was fantastic, so that proves you're obviously all full of garbage.

And no, me saying that Freo is in the process of being killed is not talking it down or having a bad attitude. Nor is spending a whole Thinking Allowed piece musing about what's wrong with Freo locals. Don't be obtuse.

3(d). To all those people who think Freo is dull, I'm sorry.

Captain Translator: Yeah, sorry you're a bunch of lazy, negative whingers.

3(e). If you haven't found (how great Freo is) yet, that's ok. We'll welcome you when you do.

Captain Translator: When you're ready to become a worthwhile, positive person with all the right opinions like me, I promise my clique and I will welcome you into Freo. (I'm so nice like that.)

But until then, do me a favour: shut up and stay out.

3(f). Thanks to everyone who helps makes our city great. Now, time to put my head down and get back to work.

Captain Translator: I thought I'd include the penultimate sentence just in case anyone gets their nose put out of joint by me trash talking whiny Freo locals, in which case I can say, "Oh no, don't think I meant that you're one of the unconstructive whingers who's killing this town! I totally think you're one of the people who helps make Freo great, that I thanked at the end!".

Sneaky, eh?

And the last sentence is just to remind everyone that I'm super busy being important and making a difference and never (well, almost never) saying anything negative, even though none of you deserve me.

The Captain wiped his manly brow. Fremantle locals were no longer feeling like second-class citizens for making valid suggestions to their elected representatives about how grass at the beach might be nicer than tarmac and dust, or that overflowing bins perhaps weren't the best look for a city trying to attract visitors. His job, for now, was done.

Misplaced shower at Bathers Beach

Some good news, not that it can be corroborated by anything published on the City’s website, but I hear that they’re moving the misplaced shower at Bathers Beach.

At hearing the news, my wife was saddened.

Upon initially seeing the shower, marooned on its sandy peninsula, she refused to believe that its location could be the result of indifference or stupidity. Instead she decided that it was evidence there was a secret anarchist working at the City, and that the shower was his or her small revolutionary act designed to catalyse the demise of local government.

"But Swaney, someone signed off on this! Someone looked at the little drawing of a shower at the beach sitting in the middle of a pile of sand, thought about it carefully, and then said ok!"

She still tries to protest whenever I suggest an alternative theory. Then she chuckles to herself, and concludes that the first degree abrasions on her ankles from rubbing off wet sand are well worth it for the knowledge that we live in a place where the bureaucrats are genuinely interesting.

 

Thanks to fellow Freo blogger Graham Morgan (at Freo Ramble) for letting me use his photo and also steal his great line for the caption - "Another classic, a shower on the sand."

Another classic, a shower on the sand via

Off the rails

The bumper cars didn't last long.
Any plans to get them fixed?

My wife and I recently enjoyed an old fashioned movie night, during which I introduced her to such genre masterpieces as Alien and Die Hard.

To lighten the mood after a squabble over the remote during Alien (my finger kept slipping and changing the channel during the scary bits, resulting in forced confiscation) my wife and I concluded the evening with a viewing of Dumb and Dumber.

For those not familiar with the film, early on the pet budgie of one of the main characters meets a sticky end and is left headless. In need of some quick cash, the budgie's erstwhile owner Lloyd sticky-tapes the head back on and sells the dead budgie to a blind boy. The scene concludes with images of the blind boy patting his strangely mute companion and crooning its name, while Lloyd spends his cash on a novelty cowboy hat.

Thinking about the recently completed Bathers Beach upgrade with its strip of asphalt, the dustbowl and now the bumper cars I can't help but feel like the blind kid who got swindled by Lloyd. I'm afraid that we've been left with a bit of a lemon.

What's wrong?

When it first became evident to local residents and businesses that this project was heading down the proverbial placemaking gurgler, those responsible at the City and Council stuck their heads in the sand. They issued a now infamous media release (click here for my translation) claiming that community consultation done way back in 2004 was evidence enough that the City was right and the community was wrong. That was in February.

Not much has changed. The long strip of asphalt still resembles a car park. The asphalt is now grey and it still presents terribly.

Lost opportunity?

It's completely under-used except as a hugely unnecessarily wide footpath - although come summer when the sun heats up the tarmac to nuclear temperatures I suspect even that use will dwindle.

The dustbowl also remains, functioning only as a pathway that people pass over as quickly as possible.

Another lost opportunity?

The dustbowl really does put the 'd' into dysfunctional. An image of a sticky taped budgie flutters into the mind again. What a lost opportunity.

Sandwiched in between the asphalt and the dustbowl is the green area. It isn't really my cup of tea. The bumper cars seem impractical and almost beg for tender fingers to crush, and the area appears a little too cluttered. But I suppose I can live with it. One thing is for sure, the lawn really does serve to emphasise the jarring and blunt feeling of the project's design.

Whats the point of these?

The lawn softens the area.

The railway tracks appear to be a winner with the kids.

What's next?

It's time to start looking at what can be done to transform this place from dysfunctional into desirable.

Here are eight ideas that spring to mind:

1. First things first. Let's see Council and the City change its thinking about this project.
Walking through the area, I get the feeling that this project has been over interpreted. The heritage interpretation has been done in isolation. Heritage interpretation and having a nice, fun place that everyone can enjoy are not mutually exclusive. Actually, I think it is high time that Council and the City started practising what they've been preaching when it comes to placemaking. How many times do they need to pay for David Engtwicht to come out for a feel-good talkfest before his advice actually delivers some results?

2. Take the parklet example and see if it can be applied to the strip of asphalt, which as it is, is a complete failure.

3. Extend the lawn into the dustbowl.

4. Introduce some decent lighting.

5. Introduce more fun. How about another simple (and safe) example of kid-friendly interactive public art?

6. Invest in a pontoon for the beach. This is a no brainer and could be in place for this summer.

7. Give people the option to bring their own food by putting in a shared BBQ facility.

8. Start including Bathers Beach in Freo's Festivals.

'Fixing' Arthur Head

'Fixing' Arthur Head. It's an issue that's been attracting a fair amount of attention for a little while now and I thought it was time for me to weigh in on the debate.

What currently works?

Having walked around the precinct a couple of times with this issue in mind, I reckon that a lot of what is currently in place is actually working on a foundational level. It strikes me as a shame the City seems to be inclined to take the easy way out and wipe the slate clean, which is admittedly the more fun approach when compared with the hard, boring work of good maintenance and continuous small improvements.

I like that a proud and engaged community organisation like the Fremantle Society is headquartered within a stone's throw of one of Freo's most iconic buildings. I like that community groups can book this building for meetings and that events like the Amazing Place Race are run from this old cottage. I like that there is a young family living next door, with kiddies who activate the area in the way only children can.

Fremantle Society HQ

To me it seems wrong that the few elements of the precinct that really work are the ones destined for the chop.

Walking down the weather beaten wooden steps to the J Shed, I think that it is charming that the man responsible for so many of Freo's cool statues (and a fair share of my mini Freo monuments), Greg James, has his HQ in one of the studios. Another successful artist, Jenny Dawson, as well as her photographer partner, Peter Zuvela, also operate out of another of the J Shed studios. I first met Peter at the photo exhibition of his trip to Croatia held just around the corner at the Kidogo Arthouse. I reckon that there is a successful arts precinct happening in the J Shed right before our eyes.

The J Shed...already a nice little arts hub?

Maybe it's the cynic in me, but why would whacking in a few more artist studios make Arthur Head any more of an attraction than it currently is at the moment? It seems a shallow, one-dimensional idea of facilitating the arts and placemaking to me, and not a guaranteed recipe for vibrancy.

What needs improving?

Signage

- Walking around the actual precinct, I couldn't help but notice that signage is lacking.

Look and feel around the J Shed

- Quality places matter when it comes to attracting people. Gravel and sand just doesn't present the right kind of message.

  

Gravel and sand around the J Shed

(I understand a Greg James led initiative to repaint the J Shed is in the works for later this year, which will greatly improve the look of the shed. Great initiative.)

Marketing and promotion

- Arthur Head barely cracks a mention on the City's website. 

Programming of events

- The precinct could be included in more of Freo's Festivals. Additionally, Is there an opportunity to have a series of dedicated events that run out of the precinct? Maybe the artists already housed in the J Shed would jump at the opportunity to be included as part of this initiative?

Rundown buildings

- This is a no brainer. Like many of the City's buildings, the current building that hosts the Fremantle Society is in dire need of some tender loving care.

Where's the food?

My stomach may be doing the talking on this one but I think that the City is being naive when it thinks that it can attract people to the area and then keep them in the precinct without food. Giving people the opportunity for a coffee and cake is such a sure-fire way to get them to visit and then hang around that it seems remiss that it hasn't been included. Or maybe the City's intention is to only attract serious arty types for whom art is meat and drink enough? (A crowd not known for their unrestrained sense of fun, in my experience.)

A cafe/restaurant/small bar in the most southernly J Shed studio would be pretty cool.

View from a potential cafe/restaurant...looks good to me

Great opportunity for a potetial cafe/restaurant to operate out of the J Shed?

Defining success step by step...backwards

I've become very attached to a process called backward mapping in recent years, which basically works by beginning with a description of your desired outcome and then working backwards to define the steps necessary to produce it.

In this instance, outlining the management of artists seems to me to be putting the cart before the horse. I don't think the time, nor the priorities, are right. I suggest that the City and Council would get more value out of doing the following:

- Shifting the focus from arts hubs only thinking to broader, more inclusive and more practical ideas for Arthur Head, such as infrastructure upgrades, building maintenance, and placemaking opportunities.

- Defining how a successful Arthur Head precinct would look, feel and function. I'd like to see some evidence that someboday has considered the ideal experiences of Arthur Head by an artist, a resident and a tourist.

- Break down what is needed into individual components and fit them into a backward map. Start defining what projects fall out of the backward map and what a successful year would entail.

Conclusion

The current approach to planning for the Arthur Head precinct doesn't appear to fit intuitively with what is currently happening on the ground in the area. The arts hub only thinking also has a distinct sledge hammer feel about it.

For me, thinking about what a successful Arthur Head would look like would provide greater value at this stage rather than persisting with an arts hub only approach.

Amalgamation: Good or bad for Freo?

A little like my expanding girth (suffice to say the word diet has been mentioned by my wife) amalgamating local governments has been in the news lately and the consensus seems to be that bigger isn't better. So what does it mean for Freo?

Does the Supermarket v. Boutique analogy hold true?

An analogy that I've frequently heard bandied around is that we currently enjoy a smaller 'boutique' style local government, and that amalgamation will create a 'supersized' Coles/Woolworths type authority.

But does this comparison hold true under scrutiny?

Obviously, this analogy is heavily loaded in favour of the current smaller style. Who's going to come out in favour of a soulless supermarket conglomerate over mum-and-dad type small businesses?

By using the term 'boutique', proponents of this analogy are implying a raft of attributes to smaller local government authorities. Personal, attentive service with locals in mind. Higher quality, albeit with higher prices. Customers will be treated as more than a number. A boutique local government will have local knowledge and the decisions it makes will be based on local needs.

Likewise, the term supermarket also comes loaded with meaning. Soulless. Uncaring of local needs and with no investment in the local area. Cheaper, yes, but only because their buying power can crush smaller competitors. Careless about quality. Customers, employees, suppliers - they're only valued so far as they serve the supermarket's relentless drive for more market share and more profits.

The thing is that I currently live in a so-called boutique local government and I can't honestly say that the current City of Fremantle local government possesses any of those superior 'boutique' qualities. Does it demonstrate that it really cares about the local area? Does it value its community? Does it provide high quality products and services?

The answer to all of these questions is a no.

In fact, it feels very much like the incumbent City of Fremantle local authority currently has much more in common with a supermarket than a boutique, except for its size. When people say that a Coles/Woolworths type local authority would be bad, I'm thinking that they mean that they'd get a local authority that was soulless, that was generally apathetic to its ratepayers, that has little genuine love for the area or the community. Isn't that what we're getting now?

The dustbowl

The Town Hall not looking the best

Freo Festival of Litter

All of this got me thinking about what's bad about shopping in Coles in Fremantle. What's bad is when you go shopping for bread at two in the afternoon and find that, yet again, your favourite rustic baguettes have sold out. You mention something to the seventeen year old employee passing by. The response is a sulky look that says, as clearly as if it was enunciated, "Thanks for telling me something I didn't know, grandpa. Besides we're doing you a favour - you could do without having a couple of baguettes."

My point is that if we currently have a boutique local government authority now, with boutique sized prices, what am I getting for my extra money? The City of Fremantle isn't going the extra mile. They're not making better decisions for the community. Look at the Bathers Beach black asphalt landing strip and dustbowl, the crumbling Town Hall, the ten day turnaround on queries.

I think that it has become fashionable to use the Coles/Woolworths analogy without any real scrutiny as to what it actually means and whether or not it applies to Freo's situation. Try as I might, I'm just not buying this analogy. I can't help but feel that what we're getting is a Coles/Woolworths type local government at boutique prices...the worst of both worlds.

Will ratepayers get better value for money?

The economic argument against small local government is that the smaller bureaucracies may be quite top heavy, in that there are lots of chiefs and not as many Indians. For me this isn't value for money, nor does it guarantee higher quality. The chiefs, by virtue of a lack of Indians can find themselves dealing in micro level activities that are not justified according to their pay scale. Meanwhile, the Indians can come and go because of a lack of opportunity, whilst chiefs tend to hang around too long. Staff turnover, especially when it is likely to be an Indian, does not provide any kind of value for ratepayers. Plus, the energy and innovativeness of the organisation stagnates.

All the while, local governments are being asked to undertake more and more complicated projects. Unfortunately, as a result local governments will outsource all or part of a particular project to consultants, because they don't have the staff numbers, nor the expertise, to implement them. This just exacerbates the lack of opportunities for staff and for small local governments this vicious cycle is exacerbated.

Relying on consultants isn't great value for money either. These days consultants don't come cheap. And what is disappointing is that after we've paid for their next holiday, these consultants leave with the body of knowledge related to implement that project. It is particularly galling to think that enthusiastic staff within the smaller local authority could be missing out on golden opportunties to test themselves on interesting projects. This brings us back to the vicious cycle again.

In one sense an argument for a significantly larger local government for Freo is that the new bureaucracy will be more likely to carry out significant infrastructure projects. Light rail in Freo may become more of a distinct possibility, which isn't the case at the moment.

For me, whether or not ratepayers will get value for money does not necessarily come down to the size of the bureaucracy but the quality of the staff. A bureaucracy where there are more Indians than chiefs, and where they can test themselves means a better, more effective local government.

Will we lose the sense of community that smaller local governments are credited with bringing?

I used to be a subscriber to the argument that smaller local governments have a competitive advantage when it comes to creating a greater sense of community than their larger compatriots. Then I travelled to Paris.

Inner Paris is made up of twenty arrondissements with about two million people. A single local government administration manages all those neighbourhoods. One of the many lessons that I learnt from walking through many of these arrondissements was that each neighbourhood had managed to retain its own uniqueness and community.

It made me realise that a sense of community is rarely reliant on an organisation for its existence. Instead, the feeling of community in a place is created by the people who live there.

I'm far from convinced that smaller local governments have an exclusive mortgage on creating a sense of community. I've never been to Brisbane (which only has one local government authority), but I wonder if there is a sense of community missing in that city? I doubt it.

I'm thinking that the whole building-a-sense-of-community thing has less to do with the size of our local bureaucracies and more to do with people. Sure local authorities can play a role but Freo has an awesome community almost in spite of the local authority.

What does all of this mean for amalgamation and Freo?

Firstly, to argue that a new larger bureaucracy representing Freo will be robbed of its superior 'boutique' qualities is flawed, given our current local governent's performance.

Secondly, to suggest that Freo's already awesomely kick ass sense of community will disappear in a blink of an eye if our boundaries expand seems to me to patronise all those people and community groups helping to create that sense of community.

Lastly, unlike my own expanding girth, I tend to feel that a larger City of Greater Fremantle presents more benefits than costs over the long term.